Tag: Flawless Consulting

Define What You Mean: Reframing the “Clear Vision” Problem

Posted on by admin

When tasked with implementing change in your organization, you may have found yourself in this position: The goal of change has been shared, presented, and discussed repeatedly. Yet you keep hearing the claim, “We need a clear vision of what we are moving toward.” 

This is another classic consulting situation, and it presents itself as a problem of definition. For instance, how do you define the difference between change and transformation? 

How do you define leadership, empowerment, the new economy, or the role of a middle manager? 

What is the new role of human resources? 

But for all the clamor about wanting definitions, many times, what is truly murky is the question, not so much the answers. This is an indicator that you need to reframe the issue at hand in order to get to the root. Let’s look at some thoughts on how to reframe the “clear vision” problem. 

If You Acted On This Definition

Taking the “clear vision” complaint at face value, you would spend a lot of time trying to define what is new in terms that people will understand. You would write it down. You would produce manuals and short brochures written in “lay terms” to describe that which is essentially a change in consciousness. Then, the ultimate attempt at creating a definition is the competency model: a comprehensive listing of the skills needed to be fully proficient at a job or role. Have you ever seen one that any human being could achieve?

Reframing The “Clear Vision” Problem

To reframe the clear vision problem, you need to see that the request for definition is often not a problem of clarity but an expression of disagreement. 

It is fine to make one attempt at definition. But most of the time, we have already done that, and yet the question persists. In this case, the thing to focus on is the request for us to define the term. If a definition is necessary, then what if you let those who ask the questions struggle with the answer for themselves?

What if the request for a clear vision has to do with roles? For years middle managers have wanted to know what their new role is. Well, after all this time, if they can’t figure it out, maybe there is no new role. The principle here is that you (as the questioner) have to translate language into your own setting and into your own experience. Sure, others can help a little, but they cannot do it for you. 

 

Learning Clarity Through Ambiguity

Dennis Bakke, head of AES, a very enlightened company that produces electrical power around the world, likes ambiguity in language. He says that if people are unclear about what something means, it forces them into a conversation about it, and that conversation leads to learning. 

Hearing a definition from another leads to memorization, not learning. The only definition that endures is the one that I myself have created. 

If people are unclear about what something means, it forces them into a conversation about it, and that conversation leads to learning.

Lastly, in this situation, it is important to realize that the wish for a clear vision is another form of the wish for safety. It is the desire to know where you are going before you go there. It is a desire for measurable, controlled outcomes. Ultimately, it is a longing for safety that does not truly exist. 

In the end, defining terms is an academic diversion from the more fundamental human questions involving risk, purpose, courage, and adventure. But here is the thing: real safety comes from the experience of discovery, acting in the face of your fears–not waiting to act until your fears have disappeared. It is not until you try something that you will realize that you will survive it.

So To Act In This New Frame For Clear Vision:

  1. Realize that persistent requests for definition are not a lack of clear vision but an expression of disagreement.
  2. Invite the person asking for the definition to struggle with it for themselves. This leads to conversations in which they will truly learn rather than memorize.
  3. Understand that the desire for a clear definition is masking a desire for safety. But real safety is found in acting in the face of our fears.

[Adapted from Peter Block, ‘Twelve Questions to the Most Frequently Asked Answers,’ The Flawless Consulting Fieldbook and Companion: A Guide to Understanding Your Expertise, 2001, pp. 401-402] 

Refine your skills, and define what you mean. Start Flawless Consulting today.

The Deadwood Dilemma: Reframing the “Low Performer” Problem

Posted on by admin

There are few things that incite feelings of injustice at work as the perception of “freeloaders”…low performers, reaping benefit from other people’s work. There is at least one team member who is not pulling their own weight.

This is an accountability issue.

And we’ve found that early in every discussion about accountability and institutional reform, what follows is someone who will ask what they should do with the “deadwood.”

How do you handle low performers under this new world order?

In situations like these, the consultant’s task is to reframe the question to reveal the underlying issues rather than just deal with the surface-level…what we call the “presenting problem.”

The Presenting Problem: Deadwood

A member of the team is underperforming and dragging the whole team’s performance down. The rest of the team is frustrated that this low performer is benefitting without contributing their fair share.

If You Acted On This Definition

If you focus on dealing with “deadwood” then you’ll look at the issue as a performance management issue. You might:

  • Proceed by developing competency models to create objective measures to evaluate the lowest performers
  • Move to make performance improvement targets more clear and self-evident
  • Talk about offering exit packages to aid in “clearing the deadwood.

Reframing the “Low Performers” Problem

There is an embedded irony in channeling your focus on fixing the low performers or underachievers.

Why? Because if you’re successful in converting a low performer into a top performer, then another member of the team will have to become the lowest performer.

Oops. The end result is a self-perpetuating cycle.

You see, “deadwood” is really not the problem.

So what’s the real “Low Performers” problem?

When you focus on fixing the low performers, you merely shift attention away from the team’s performance.

Sure, individual team members need help at times. But the reality is that if the team was performing well and working well together, then it could easily afford to bring along some “freeloaders.”

The truth is that the problem-person, the low performer, the “deadwood,” is likely to be the victim of projection.

Scapegoating may make us feel better, but goats are rarely the real issue.

“Et Tu, Brute?”

You may be told that the low performers need to get “on board.” That’s an interesting judgment. Why do they think they’re “on board?”

Who is to say the people having you deal with the “deadwood” are not also in that category themselves?

Low Performers reflect the Team

In family therapy, the child who gets all of the negative attention is called the “identified patient.” And that “patient” carries the symptoms of what is really a family problem.

So, when you reframe the “deadwood” dilemma as other than an individual performance management issue you’re able to see that whatever issues are prevalent in the low performers indicate issues in the team as a whole entity. And addressing the dysfunctions in the team will serve to raise the bar for individuals within it.

[Adapted from Peter Block, ‘Twelve Questions to the Most Frequently Asked Answers,’ The Flawless Consulting Fieldbook and Companion: A Guide to Understanding Your Expertise, 2001, pp. 396-397]

The Inmates Run the Prison: Reframing “The Bad Boss” Problem

Posted on by admin

Whether in the workplace, politics, or sports, the barrier to success is often defined as a “bad boss” behavior problem. In fact, the “Bad Boss” problem can manifest in almost any environment you find yourself in. But is this ubiquitous gripe the heart of the issue? Perhaps not.

What the “Boss” complaint reveals is that the most common consulting problems deal with the human system. No matter how technical the assignment, issues are often thought of as “presenting problems”…what seems obvious, the “low hanging fruit.”

Beware: this may be a trap.

When there are no good answers, the problem is likely with the question.

In other words, the root problem is often with the way the problem is defined or the way the question is framed. This is where the client gets stuck and where you might get stuck as well.

Once a better question is asked, it can reshape their entire understanding of the issue and open a path to an alternate future.

So how can this classic problem be reframed? Here are some thoughts on how to deal with the human system rather than just the presenting problem.

The Presenting Problem: The Boss is Bad

The team feels helpless and distressed and identifies the problem as a tyrannical boss. The boss is too controlling, plays favorites, doesn’t communicate enough, controls too much–you name it. This issue is known to surface at every level of an organization–even executives complain of being controlled by others.

If You Acted On This Definition

By focussing on the problem as described above, you might be inclined to find the boss a coach (or gently suggest they take advantage of employee assistance program benefit and speak to a therapist), submit them to the rigors of a 360-degree assessment, and pray that the boss changes their bad habits.

Reframing The “Bad Boss” Problem

As long as the presenting problem is narrowly framed around dealing with the boss, then the team unit essentially has no agency and is rendered useless in creating better working relationships.

But remember: the inmates run the prison. The deeper problem is that the members of the team do not support each other.

Human beings can’t change other human beings, but they can work together to co-create an environment where individual choices are respected and where the impact of their decisions on the team is taken into account.

If members of a team support each other in public, they can handle any boss.

Here’s what team support looks like: if one member confronts the boss in a meeting, the others have to affirm their support verbally–no staying silent or giving support after the conversation has ended. This reframes the problem by acknowledging the innate freedom of the team, and accepting the power to act is in their hands.

bad boss cannot succeed against a supportive team
Public Team Support

If the boss isn’t bossing well, then the team isn’t teaming well.

To act within a frame of ownership [powerful agency] the team has to:

  1. Overcome its sense of caution as employees. This is choosing to act within the freedom that the team possesses to frame a better social contract for the good of the unit as a whole, including the boss.
  2. Meet independently. You must decide what is required to get the work done. Consider these questions: What alternate future does the team desire to build? What commitments is the team willing to make to bring this into reality?
  3. Bring it up to the boss with the whole team present. This is essential to creating a supportive team structure. Be sure that everyone is at the table to avoid a perception that “not everyone is on board,” giving way for the possibility of blame to start all over again.

This may feel like mutiny and knowledge workers may hesitate at this idea. So help them get over it. The payoff is that creating a supportive team will go a long way to dealing with the underlying issues that perpetuate the “Bad Boss” scenario.

[Adapted from Peter Block, ‘Twelve Questions to the Most Frequently Asked Answers,’ The Flawless Consulting Fieldbook and Companion: A Guide to Understanding Your Expertise, 2001, pp. 393-394]

Tips for Getting Real on What’s Really Happening at Work

Posted on by Beverly Crowell

In the past month, life for most of us has changed. Plans have been disrupted and work looks very different. We may be working from home—or we may not be working at all, furloughed or laid-off from our organizations. There is uncertainty and uncertainty fuels anxiety.

In organizations around the world, leaders and managers are responsible for helping to minimize this anxiety with their workforce. It’s a global issue and certainly an issue of global proportions. After all, how do I as a leader in an organization help provide clarity, when I am living in these unparalleled and uncertain times as well?

The complexity of our times may prompt some to look for a complex answer to these challenges. However, the answer, in part, is fairly simple . . . just be real. In our Flawless Consulting workshops, we call it being authentic. Authenticity isn’t new, but how we leverage it in today’s challenging times may be the best new idea in what is a new time, in how we lead and manage in organizations.

In Peter Block’s book, The Empowered Manager: Positive Political Skills at Work, he outlines the four basic approaches we can take to be authentic in our interactions with others.

1. Say no when we mean no. Instead of hedging our position for fear of being disapproved of, we make it a point to let others know where we stand. Too many expectations are violated when we are reluctant to take a stand early on. If it’s something you can’t do, won’t do, or shouldn’t do, have the courage to say no and explain why.

2. Share as much information as possible. Let people know the organization’s plans, ideas, and changes as soon as possible. If there is something you can’t share, say so and explain why. In the absence of information, people will fill the void—and what they fill it with is often worse than the truth.

3. Use language that describes reality. Use language that describes the reality of what is happening, rather than hiding it behind corporate speak. Share it in a way that the message gets through. Tell people in unmistakable terms where you or the organization stand, and why you need to take the action you are taking.

4. Avoid repositioning for the sake of acceptance. No public relations in the rah-rah sense, no repositioning just for the sake of selling our story. People need to hear both sides of the story—our certainty and our doubt.

In times of uncertainty and change, people are likely to psychologically and even physically check out. For leaders and managers of organizations, there may be little room for critical players to check out, even for a little while. While the world works to get our global house in order, being authentic may be the most practical thing leaders and managers can do right now.

Beverly Crowell is an experienced facilitator, speaker, thought leader, and author specializing in the areas of business operations, organization, employee and human resources development.

In Defense of Being “Helpful”

Posted on by Jeff McCollum

I want to write in defense of being helpful. And I want to distinguish it from rescue.

There have been times in working Flawless Consulting Workshops that I have heard being “helpful” disparaged a bit with a phrase like, “We don’t want to be helpful. We want to be useful.” Since we are in a “helping profession,” this has always rankled me just a bit.

The distinction I make is between helping and rescuing. Rescuing is part of what Stephen Karpman described as the “drama triangle” in the 1960s. It looks like this:

The emotional price for all involved in the triangle is anxiety, which is rarely helpful in any context. Since organizational development emerged to deal with the unintended consequences of industrialization, we as practitioners can get caught up in it.

If I view the client or “system” for which I am consulting as a persecutor, I run the risk of viewing some in the system as victims and want to rescue them. Sadly, this is a role I have taken on in the past when working internally for large systems. When I did, I was prone to lapse into cynical commentary like, “What’s the difference between [our company] and the Boy Scouts? The Boy Scouts have adult leadership.” That was neither endearing nor helpful. But I thought it was clever!

On an individual coaching basis, if I stay in the rescuer mode, I may not challenge the person with whom I’m working to deal with what they can choose to change. There is always something someone can do to improve their own circumstances. Reinforcing a feeling of powerlessness is not helpful.

Seeing situations as involving persecutors and victims reflects a mindset that leads to conversations that lack any sense of possibility. One way we can be helpful is to invite those with whom we work to see possibilities they either can’t or have chosen not to see on their own. It’s part of the “clear picture” we strive for in consulting flawlessly.

I have worked for—and with—bosses who are doing things that are ineffective, unproductive, and even damaging. I have yet to work for one that is intentionally doing that. This is where compassion comes into play. When I operate from the perspective that this person is doing the best job he knows how in this situation, I create a mindset for myself that lets me see more possibility to help the client self-discover more possibility for himself.

Early in my career, I worked with a colleague in Western Electric (then the manufacturing subsidiary of AT&T) who used the phrase, “God is in a helping relationship.” That stuck with me, and probably explains why I am troubled with phrases that disparage helping. The God I know wants us to learn and grow, and will not rescue us from our choices but rather help us learn from them. That’s the power behind the feedback statement model in Flawless Consulting that goes, “Chris, when you do ‘X,’ it has the following impact on your organization—and the result is ‘Y.’”’ To my frame of reference, that simple, direct statement is being helpful.

Later, in another part of AT&T, I encountered Robert Greenleaf’s work on servant leadership. The “servant” part of that phrase is sometimes misconstrued as connoting weakness or subservience. Greenleaf’s behavioral test of a servant leader is far more rigorous, “Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?” This, in my view, could also be the test of a flawless consultant.

To do this, we must stay out of the “drama triangle.” How can we help vs. rescue? I think we can do this by presenting valid data and leaving the client free to decide, being open to the giftedness and possibility in each client and, as we teach in Flawless Consulting, letting go of our personal investment in the outcome.

Jeff has been affiliated with Designed Learning for more than 20 years.

Having held leadership positions in marketing, sales, organizational development, and HR, Jeff brings years of large-system experience in internal consulting to his work with Designed Learning. Jeff believes that when the human spirit thrives, organizations thrive as well.

When You Can’t Go Out, Go In

Posted on by Simi Suri

Perhaps the earth has truly gone into “reset” mode due to the lockdown caused by the Coronavirus. Perhaps it is time for us to push the “pause” button and rethink how we have been living our professional and personal lives. Perhaps the “reset” mode and “pause” button are now compelling us to rethink the meaning and purpose of our relationships, both at home and at work.

While this lockdown is certainly a challenge, and most of the world has put strong restrictions on movement, there has been another not-so-tangible side to this lockdown. The slowdown on our physical movement is compelling us to look within ourselves. The long hours indoors and restrictions on going out has necessitated us going in. Going in and questioning ourselves; going in and becoming more aware of how we have been thinking; going in and asking ourselves, “Did this way of being get me where I wanted to be?”

The whole world is talking about the fact that at the end of this lockdown we shall wake up to a new world. What will this world look like? What will it ask of us? And what will we need to do to fit into this new order? Our home confinement is making us question the things we were running after, the quality of our relationships, and what we truly want from our lives.

The time has come for us to slow down and realign our lives so that we can flow smoothly in the future. We need to reconnect with our loved ones, friends, and professional associates as individuals with different human nuances—not just targets to be achieved or duties to be performed. We need to spend time getting to know each person and acknowledging the anxiety and vulnerability each one faces, including ourselves. We have to connect with ourselves so that we can connect with others.

How was our life as consultants before the virus compelled us to pause? What were we to pause for? What were we supposed to see? So many questions, so much confusion, and so much uncertainty. These questions and so many more get answered on their own when one understands and lives the philosophy of Flawless Consulting. It is the mantra for success in human relationships—a way of life applicable in both personal and professional life.

As consultants, we were constantly rushing to meet deadlines, grabbing the next order, pushing our way ahead, striving hard to impress the client with heavy content and verbose presentations, pushing our beliefs, trying to control people and decisions, and believing that others should do as we recommend because we know the best. Relationships were professional and impersonal and lasted only as long as they served the business purpose. Then suddenly, the “pause” button was pushed. Without realizing it, we are finding ourselves in a mode of self-questioning and self-enquiry. And we are asking ourselves: Were those deadlines realistic? Am I really the right person for that job? Do I really have all the answers? Does the client believe I have understood him/her? Can I push my solutions on to the client? Does the client really trust me?

With the last question, we take our awareness a notch further—a step deeper within ourselves: What do I need to do to make the client know he can trust me, feel I understand the real issue, and believe I will not let him down?

When we become aware of our own thoughts and feelings, and know with what kind of mindset we are entering a discussion—whether we want to be in control, just executing, or be a partner in a project—we become more secure within and know what we need to ask from the client to enable us to give our best to the task at hand. Awareness also makes us recognize resistance in a client so we don’t take it personally, and makes us acknowledge our own resistance, too.

The new world is going to be a slower paced world—a world with greater self-awareness, where relationships will have more depth and life will be more meaningful. Are we ready to align ourselves with this new world? It is quite amazing that Flawless Consulting has been sharing the value of this mindset for over four decades and its philosophy is even more relevant now than ever before.


We need to recognize that patterns are changing and we need to change, too. Not changing with the flow will only create resistance and make it painful for us. This sudden change of pace is making us rethink how we need to reset ourselves and our ways of thinking and operating. We need to build deeper connections with our associates, our families, and most importantly, ourselves.

“I think that when the dust settles, we will realize
how little we need, how very much we actually have,
and the true value of human connection.”

Perhaps the earth has truly gone into “reset” mode due to the lockdown caused by the Coronavirus. Perhaps it is time for us to push the “pause” button and rethink how we have been living our professional and personal lives. Perhaps the “reset” mode and “pause” button are now compelling us to rethink the meaning and purpose of our relationships, both at home and at work.

While this lockdown is certainly a challenge, and most of the world has put strong restrictions on movement, there has been another not-so-tangible side to this lockdown. The slowdown on our physical movement is compelling us to look within ourselves. The long hours indoors and restrictions on going out has necessitated us going in. Going in and questioning ourselves; going in and becoming more aware of how we have been thinking; going in and asking ourselves, “Did this way of being get me where I wanted to be?”

The whole world is talking about the fact that at the end of this lockdown we shall wake up to a new world. What will this world look like? What will it ask of us? And what will we need to do to fit into this new order? Our home confinement is making us question the things we were running after, the quality of our relationships, and what we truly want from our lives. The time has come for us to slow down and realign our lives so that we can flow smoothly in the future. We need to reconnect with our loved ones, friends, and professional associates as individuals with different human nuances—not just targets to be achieved or duties to be performed. We need to spend time getting to know each person and acknowledging the anxiety and vulnerability each one faces, including ourselves. We have to connect with ourselves so that we can connect with others.

How was our life as consultants before the virus compelled us to pause? What were we to pause for? What were we supposed to see? So many questions, so much confusion, and so much uncertainty. These questions and so many more get answered on their own when one understands and lives the philosophy of Flawless Consulting. It is the mantra for success in human relationships—a way of life applicable in both personal and professional life.

As consultants, we were constantly rushing to meet deadlines, grabbing the next order, pushing our way ahead, striving hard to impress the client with heavy content and verbose presentations, pushing our beliefs, trying to control people and decisions, and believing that others should do as we recommend because we know the best. Relationships were professional and impersonal and lasted only as long as they served the business purpose. Then suddenly, the “pause” button was pushed. Without realizing it, we are finding ourselves in a mode of self-questioning and self-enquiry. And we are asking ourselves: Were those deadlines realistic? Am I really the right person for that job? Do I really have all the answers? Does the client believe I have understood him/her? Can I push my solutions on to the client? Does the client really trust me?

With the last question, we take our awareness a notch further—a step deeper within ourselves: What do I need to do to make the client know he can trust me, feel I understand the real issue, and believe I will not let him down?

When we become aware of our own thoughts and feelings, and know with what kind of mindset we are entering a discussion—whether we want to be in control, just executing, or be a partner in a project—we become more secure within and know what we need to ask from the client to enable us to give our best to the task at hand. Awareness also makes us recognize resistance in a client so we don’t take it personally, and makes us acknowledge our own resistance, too.

The new world is going to be a slower paced world—a world with greater self-awareness, where relationships will have more depth and life will be more meaningful. Are we ready to align ourselves with this new world? It is quite amazing that Flawless Consulting has been sharing the value of this mindset for over four decades and its philosophy is even more relevant now than ever before.

We need to recognize that patterns are changing and we need to change, too. Not changing with the flow will only create resistance and make it painful for us. This sudden change of pace is making us rethink how we need to reset ourselves and our ways of thinking and operating. We need to build deeper connections with our associates, our families, and most importantly, ourselves.

“I think that when the dust settles, we will realize

how little we need, how very much we actually have,

and the true value of human connection.”

Simi Suri has been a consultant with Designed Learning since 2017. She has been an HR and business professional for over two decades, and has experience in both, corporate and entrepreneurial, worlds. She has been a corporate trainer, executive coach, instructional design consultant, communication specialist and behavioural scientist.

Developing an Assertive You for Consulting Win-Wins

Posted on by Beverly Crowell

In high school, I remember a cheer we used to shout at basketball games. It went something like,

“B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E

Be Aggressive

Be, Be Aggressive!”

When your team is down by ten points, being aggressive may not be such a bad thing. In consultant/client relationships, however, being aggressive is a quick path to a failed solution.

In Flawless Consulting, we talk about this idea of being aggressive, as well as what it means to be the opposite, or non-assertive. Neither is a recipe for success. As Flawless consultants, we strive to be assertive, respecting the rights of others as well as our own. Rights such as the ability to voice an opinion, be listened to, disagree, to say no, be treated with respect, express feelings, or be quiet are generally things we want for ourselves—and certainly rights we should not deny our clients.

Unfortunately, when faced with aggression or non-assertive behaviors, these rights are seldom honored and our ability to help clients solve problems so they stay solved quickly diminishes. When aggressive, it’s all about me. When passive, it’s all about you. Either way, there is a clear loser. When assertive, we both “win.”

Even so, being one or the other can have its benefits. Consider: what are the negative and positive qualities of aggressive and non-assertive behavior?

Aggressive

Non-Assertive

–

+

+

–

Resentment

Efficient

Avoid Conflict

Missed Opportunities

Blame

Heard

Avoid Blaming

Lack of Influence

Disengagement

Control

Supportive

Indecision

Lack of trust

Decisions Made

Listen

Not Engaged

Sabotage

Take Stance

Flexibility

Frustrated

ASSERTIVE

Assertiveness is the best of both worlds. We all have the ability to control our behavior and act in all three ways. When we get under stress, we tend to move away from assertiveness. So, being aware of the negatives of both aggressive and non-assertive behavior may help all of us move more to the middle, especially when dealing with those who aren’t.

Below are some tips to help you “move to the middle” in being more assertive with your clients.

  •       Understand your communication style. There are many types of personality assessments that can help you identify your style of communication-based on specific personality traits. Learn what yours are and how your style naturally interacts with others. Pay attention to your client and take notice of how they communicate. Adjust your behaviors accordingly. If your client is quiet and methodical in their thought processes, bombarding them with a lot of information and asking for immediate answers won’t be successful. Instead, think of how you can honor their rights in the conversation by giving quiet spaces for thinking and asking if they need more time to consider the options before moving on.

  •       Reign in your emotions. When dealing with a client who is aggressive or non-assertive, it’s easy to meet their negative behaviors with our own. It’s called collusion. The Arbinger Institute explains it as, “I’ll mistreat you so you can blame your bad behavior on me, if you’ll mistreat me so I can blame my bad behavior on you.” Temper what may be an initial negative response, and instead, reign in your own emotions to stay assertive. You’ll discover it’s a lot harder to exhibit negative behaviors when one of the participants is no longer willing to engage in the blame. Ultimately, assertive people control their own behavior.

  •       Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. In Flawless Consulting, we encourage conversations about wants as part of contracting with a client. Asking for what we want helps eliminate confusion and conflicts. Ask your client early on what they want from you and the consulting agreement. At the same time, ask for what you want too. And don’t just ask for those technical wants such as access to information. Ask for wants that show how you will work together. Use “I” statements explaining, “I want to meet with you weekly to make joint decisions on next steps.” We can set expectations early on how we will work with our clients, if we make these wants known as part of our contracting meeting.

Is it really possible to be assertive with clients? The simple answer is yes. It’s not only possible but, ultimately, much more productive and comfortable than the alternative. It does take practice, and you may not always be 100% assertive all the time—but the more you honor the rights of yourself and others, the easier it is to B-E-A-S-S-E-R-T-I-V-E, Be, Be Assertive!

Beverly Crowell is an experienced facilitator, speaker, thought leader, and author specializing in the areas of business operations, organization, employee and human resources development.

A Practical Guide for New Work-at-Homers

Posted on by Beverly Crowell

Since 2007, I’ve been working from home. I’ve learned a great deal about what it takes to make working remotely work. If you’ve ever worked from home, you know it’s nothing like working in an office. To help you survive and maybe even thrive in this “new normal,” here are some of my most practical (and real) tips.

If you’ve ever worked from home, you know it’s nothing like working in an office.

  • If you have dogs, close your curtains or blinds before a conference call. If you don’t, you can guarantee that is the exact moment when something or someone will go by your window and launch a barking fit from your most precious canine.

  • Make a Do Not Disturb sign for your door. Post it when you need some privacy for a call or to actually get some work done. When that doesn’t work (and it won’t), create a new sign for your door that says, “Do not disturb and I really mean it!!!” It still may not work, but you’ve made your point.

  • Get a good chair with an armrest. The dining room chair or the folding chair from the closet will be fine for a few hours. Any longer and you’re asking for sore shoulders, backside, and legs. Don’t be afraid to spend more than a few dollars for a good chair if you are going to be spending more than a few hours on it. And be careful with adjustable chairs. Eventually, they lose their ‘adjustability.’ On one teleconference, my chair slowly started to lower while I was talking. Nothing like sinking out of the video frame when you’re trying to look smart.

  • Make sure your family knows when you are doing a video conference and hang the “Do not disturb and I really mean it” sign. Then, shut the door and remind them not to come in for any reason and then lock the door. I once did all of these things and forgot to lock the door. Moments later, my colleagues on the video conference said, “Beverly, it looks like there is a stick floating behind your head with a note attached.” There was. It was my husband asking if I wanted some lunch. Nice gesture, wrong time. Clearly, my sign did not work—but his did. I asked for a sandwich.

  • Be prepared to be on video at any time. And, if you are not willing to do so, take a sticky note right now to cover the camera on your computer. I’ve been caught more than once with no make-up and messy hair when dialing in to a call and not realizing I was going live. There’s nothing like seeing yourself looking down at a computer when you are not ready for it. I’m still traumatized.

  • Talk with your lawn guy about when not to mow the grass. For that matter, be sure to coordinate all work on or in the house around your work schedule. You can’t make a lawn mower quieter and it’s not professional to ask your colleagues to shout.

  • Remind your family and friends that, “Yes, I am working. I may be working from home, but I am working. Sorry, I can’t take you to the store. No, I can’t watch your kids.” People will ask. They don’t understand and some may even get irritated when you say no. For those folks, I’m happy to share my hourly rate.

Best advice? Have a sense of humor. Working from home is nothing like working in an office. There will be distractions. The good news is that many are doing it, so we can laugh together. And with that in mind, share your funniest working from home tip or story with me. I’d love to know I’m not alone!

Originally posted on LinkedIn.

 

Eating Breakfast in Delhi

Posted on by Charles Fields

I’m having breakfast at the hotel in Delhi. It’s a buffet that comes with the price of the room. I order coffee and then go to the buffet. I read the offerings and walk the length of the table, not sure what most of these dishes are. It’s my first time in Delhi.

I begin to notice the number of westerners in the room—from the UK and USA, mostly. Almost all of them are at the omelette bar or getting the traditional western breakfast. I see several of them lift the covers on the other foods, only to quickly cover them. Indian dishes full of vegetables, soups, and spices don’t seem to appeal.

People seek out foods that are familiar . . . what makes them comfortable . . . what feels safe. I realize that this is not the first time I’ve seen this. It’s the same reason I hear tourists request “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” in restaurants in Vienna—the land of Mozart and Strauss. People want the familiar.

They want the comfort and safety of the familiar. After all, who ever heard of eating rice soup with tuna for breakfast? People want safety and security, and they don’t want to look foolish if they decide to select a local dish. So, it’s back to what’s familiar.

Back to my meal. I find a server and ask him to help me with some of the dishes. He happily explains what each dish is and what goes with what, and how you eat it. What’s spicy and what’s not. I make selections and return to my table. The Naan bread and chickpea gravy is very good. There is a tasty eggplant dish as well. I also like the rice soup (congee) with vegetables. I pass on the bacon and eggs.

As you might have guessed, I am not really writing about food. I’m writing about the tyranny of the familiar that plagues all of us. This is a human condition, a condition that lulls us into comfort.

Comfort is the enemy of thinking and creativity.

So, what do we do? How do we get out of this rut? It’s fun to say that we need to “think outside the box.” But it’s tough to actually do it. What we need to do is stop and think first.

I see this tyranny of the familiar in some participants in workshops (especially Flawless Consulting). Some people are reluctant to try new approaches and will find reasons not to try. They want what’s familiar!

To move out of that rut, start with a change in thinking.

To think first means that you start by suspending judgment. Suspended judgment is the foundation of all creative thinking. It helps you see things differently. It opens the door to new possibilities.

Next, remember you have a “server” to help you as I did in India. It’s your Designed Learning Trainer or Coach. She or he will help you try the “dishes” in a safe environment. They are your partners.

So, next time you’re having breakfast in India, don’t just walk by the Rawa Idli or Uttapam on your way to the omelette bar—think first about the possibilities. Then, try some.

I’d love to hear your stories. Drop me a note. Let me know how it’s going.

Charles L Fields was a highly acclaimed Senior Consultant at Designed Learning and a lover of life. He traveled the world by car, rail, plane, and ship, watched the sunrise on Croagh Patrick, and set on Victoria Peak, weathered a perfect storm in the Pacific, bartered for a darbuka in the Grand Bazaar, prayed at Lord Nelson’s Sarcophagus, ate lunch in the oldest restaurant in the world. His prolific and thought-provoking writing contributed to the design and re-design of many DL products, including Flawless Consulting, Empowerment, and Stewardship. Charlie shared his passion for this body of work in over 25 countries. His impact is a blessing.

Expressing Wants: A Basic Flawless Consulting Skill

Posted on by Charles Fields

In the Flawless Consulting Skills workshops, we stress that you’ll want to change your conversations . . . the way you talk to your clients, your boss, and to each other. We see that new conversations will move you toward partnership. For example, in our initial conversation with our clients, our goal is to get an agreement on what we are going to do and how we are going to work together. We call this the Contracting Meeting. As consultants, we want to be clear about what we want to help the client be successful.

Expressing those wants often causes anxiety for the consultant. Consultants feel that to say, “I want . . .” is too direct, aggressive, potentially disrespectful, and may be harmful to building a partnership with the client. People often use national, regional, or corporate culture as a reason to not use these skills: “You can’t be that direct in this culture. Others won’t like it.”

This is more about our own anxiety (resistance) than the culture. It is a human issue. Being direct is uncomfortable for all of us. We are concerned that we will be misunderstood, be considered disrespectful, or anger the other person.

There are a variety of styles that people use to express expectations (wants), some more direct than others.

Here are some examples of how one might express a desire to interview the client’s direct reports . . .                                     

You could use… 

   Examples

Closed-ended questions

“Could I interview your direct reports?” (weak)

“Is it okay with you if I interview your direct reports?”  (weak—seeks permission)

Open-ended questions

“What’s the possibility of interviewing your direct reports?” (weak)

“What do you think about me interviewing your direct reports?” (weak)

Indirect Statements

“It would be helpful to talk to your direct reports.”  (may be confusing)

“Sometimes in projects like this, we try to interview the manager’s direct reports.” (may be confusing and get ignored)

Direct Statements

“I would like to interview your direct reports.”  (may get ignored)

“I need to interview your direct reports.”  (may sound aggressive)

“I want to interview your direct reports.”  (can negotiate)

Now, any of these might work and you’ll get what you want. I’ve used them all at one time or another. However, when I did, I often ended up with an agreement that needed to be clarified later.

The key is keeping our words direct, simple, specific, and descriptive AND our tones supportive, non-punishing, and non-judgmental. Stating a want with harsh or argumentative tone can be off-putting, while a weak or timid tine might get ignored.

When you try using these skills, start with people with whom you have a good relationship—don’t start with your toughest client! Also, listen to the language your clients use when they talk to you—you may find that they are direct with you. Partners speak the same language.

We believe that direct words and supportive tones are most effective in being clear and building partnerships. We also recognize that the style is your choice. Recognize that in choosing questions or indirect statements, you may be using a style that will not create the partnership you want.

I’d love to hear about your experiences in expressing your wants. Drop me a note. Let me know how it’s going.

Charles L Fields was a highly acclaimed Senior Consultant at Designed Learning and a lover of life. He traveled the world by car, rail, plane, and ship, watched the sunrise on Croagh Patrick, and set on Victoria Peak, weathered a perfect storm in the Pacific, bartered for a darbuka in the Grand Bazaar, prayed at Lord Nelson’s Sarcophagus, ate lunch in the oldest restaurant in the world. His prolific and thought-provoking writing contributed to the design and re-design of many DL products, including Flawless Consulting, Empowerment, and Stewardship. Charlie shared his passion for this body of work in over 25 countries. His impact is a blessing.