Month: January 2020
Building Trusted Business Partnerships During Organizational Upheaval with Jeff Evans
Jeff Evans, one of Designed Learning’s Managing Partners and Flawless Consultants, discusses the process of building trusted business partnerships during organization upheaval.
Influencing Without Direct Control (I Want Power. I Choose Influence.)
How powerful am I? What is power? Are you empowered? Power over? Power by? Power with? If only I had more power! Do I really want more power, or do I want more influence? Is there a difference?
As I think about all of the relationships of my life, power seems to have a major role. As a child, my parents had power over me. As a student, teachers and administrators had power over me. As a new employee, I gave my boss and my senior colleagues power over me. As a poor citizen in my city, I gave power to the government and institutions. We have learned that the world works on a class system that relies on the belief that we must have people who have power and people who are subservient to power. In the subservient role, I seek safety and control, yet I give up freedom and choice.
Is having more power the answer? Why do I want more power? What will I do if I get more power? I believe our search for power is the wrong search. What I want is to influence others so that I am heard and my ideas are utilized.
I want to influence in all aspects of my life. My family, my friends, my colleagues, my boss, and my fellow citizens in my community.
When I seek to influence, I claim my own power. Not power over others, but power with others and power to contribute. I can co-create shared endeavors with others by valuing their expertise and laying claim to my own expertise.
As a citizen in a community or an employee in an organization, I can claim my power by not giving it to someone else or attempting to take it from someone. There will always be someone with more money, more status, and more experience than me. I, however, have expertise and other contributions to offer every relationship. I am unique, and I claim this uniqueness while honoring your expertise and uniqueness. The brand-new employee, the person living on the fringe of society, both have unique expertise, perspectives, and gifts to offer.
I have come to realize that I give power away and deny my own power too often. I regularly give power to others, especially if I perceive they have power over me, and sometimes I use it as an excuse not to own my own power. Influencing without direct control—that is my everyday challenge and goal. I want to influence because I have expertise and other capacities to offer the world. It’s not only technical expertise, it is relational expertise. Influencing without direct control is the premise behind Peter Block’s groundbreaking work, “Flawless Consulting: Getting your expertise used.”
Register today to learn how to:
- Accelerate building trust by clearly understanding what people want.
- Articulating what you want.
- Deal with challenging partners.
- Solidify agreements to achieve sustainable results that are good for individuals, teams, organizations, and the community.
- Learn how to assertively claim your own power by influencing others and seeking to be influenced by others.This will build relationships and will ultimately result in successful, sustainable communities and organizations. I look forward to seeing you there, or on some other workshop in the not too distant future. In the meantime, I wish you well as you grow your capacity to influence without direct control.
Another Look at Resistance
In any conversation with clients, there are concerns that are rarely discussed. These doubts vary in intensity with their perceived risk and loss of control; they are personal to the individual and the situation—they are not the same for everyone.
Doubts and concerns get expressed through different behaviors. You see them as:
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direct statements;
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indirect expressions;
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wrong questions; or
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wanting proof, a promise, or power before committing to a course of action.
At the heart of these expressions are emotional harsh realities—the real doubts, concerns, or fears that the client has about the project or whatever you are discussing. These are expressions of refusal without actually saying “No.”
They are nature’s way of telling you something important is going on! They are signs of change and learning. They are not to be overcome, but to be understood and expressed. Don’t take them personally. That will only get in the way of your dealing with them effectively.
These doubts and concerns are not legitimate objections. Objections are generally logical.
The general techniques for addressing objections—making the business case; giving more proof; bartering; talking about features, benefits, and advantages—will not address the concerns . . . they usually make it worse! In these conversations, we are faced with two internal struggles: the client’s and ours.
The Client’s Internal Struggle:
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“Often when we’re talking, I will have concerns about what we’re discussing.
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For me to tell you my doubts, I need to know that it’s safe for me to talk.
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Deep inside, I worry that if I tell you my doubts, you’ll judge me, condemn me, expose me—and this puts me at risk.
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When I am at risk, I feel vulnerable and can get hurt.
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If I think I’ll get hurt, I‘ll act to protect myself.
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I protect myself by trying to control the conversation and limiting your choices and actions.”
The Client’s Hope: to keep the conversation comfortable by not talking about my concerns.
The Consultant’s Internal Struggle:
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“Often when we’re talking, your behaviors suggest that you may have concerns about what we’re discussing.
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For me to let you talk about your doubts, I need to know that it’s safe for me to ask.
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Deep inside, I worry that if I confront your doubts, you’ll become angry with me, yell at me, threaten me—and this puts me at risk.
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When I am at risk, I feel vulnerable and can get hurt.
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If I think I’ll get hurt, I‘ll act to protect myself.
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I protect myself by offering a more compelling business case, bartering, going along, or withdrawing.”