Author: Maya Mehta

Developing an Assertive You for Consulting Win-Wins

Posted on by Maya Mehta

In high school, I remember a cheer we used to shout at basketball games. It went something like,

“B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E

Be Aggressive

Be, Be Aggressive!”

When your team is down by ten points, being aggressive may not be such a bad thing. In consultant/client relationships, however, being aggressive is a quick path to a failed solution.

In Flawless Consulting, we talk about this idea of being aggressive, as well as what it means to be the opposite, or non-assertive. Neither is a recipe for success. As Flawless consultants, we strive to be assertive, respecting the rights of others as well as our own. Rights such as the ability to voice an opinion, be listened to, disagree, to say no, be treated with respect, express feelings, or be quiet are generally things we want for ourselves—and certainly rights we should not deny our clients.

Unfortunately, when faced with aggression or non-assertive behaviors, these rights are seldom honored and our ability to help clients solve problems so they stay solved quickly diminishes. When aggressive, it’s all about me. When passive, it’s all about you. Either way, there is a clear loser. When assertive, we both “win.”

Even so, being one or the other can have its benefits. Consider: what are the negative and positive qualities of aggressive and non-assertive behavior?

Aggressive

Non-Assertive

–

+

+

–

Resentment

Efficient

Avoid Conflict

Missed Opportunities

Blame

Heard

Avoid Blaming

Lack of Influence

Disengagement

Control

Supportive

Indecision

Lack of trust

Decisions Made

Listen

Not Engaged

Sabotage

Take Stance

Flexibility

Frustrated

ASSERTIVE

Assertiveness is the best of both worlds. We all have the ability to control our behavior and act in all three ways. When we get under stress, we tend to move away from assertiveness. So, being aware of the negatives of both aggressive and non-assertive behavior may help all of us move more to the middle, especially when dealing with those who aren’t.

Below are some tips to help you “move to the middle” in being more assertive with your clients.

  •       Understand your communication style. There are many types of personality assessments that can help you identify your style of communication-based on specific personality traits. Learn what yours are and how your style naturally interacts with others. Pay attention to your client and take notice of how they communicate. Adjust your behaviors accordingly. If your client is quiet and methodical in their thought processes, bombarding them with a lot of information and asking for immediate answers won’t be successful. Instead, think of how you can honor their rights in the conversation by giving quiet spaces for thinking and asking if they need more time to consider the options before moving on.

  •       Reign in your emotions. When dealing with a client who is aggressive or non-assertive, it’s easy to meet their negative behaviors with our own. It’s called collusion. The Arbinger Institute explains it as, “I’ll mistreat you so you can blame your bad behavior on me, if you’ll mistreat me so I can blame my bad behavior on you.” Temper what may be an initial negative response, and instead, reign in your own emotions to stay assertive. You’ll discover it’s a lot harder to exhibit negative behaviors when one of the participants is no longer willing to engage in the blame. Ultimately, assertive people control their own behavior.

  •       Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. In Flawless Consulting, we encourage conversations about wants as part of contracting with a client. Asking for what we want helps eliminate confusion and conflicts. Ask your client early on what they want from you and the consulting agreement. At the same time, ask for what you want too. And don’t just ask for those technical wants such as access to information. Ask for wants that show how you will work together. Use “I” statements explaining, “I want to meet with you weekly to make joint decisions on next steps.” We can set expectations early on how we will work with our clients, if we make these wants known as part of our contracting meeting.

Is it really possible to be assertive with clients? The simple answer is yes. It’s not only possible but, ultimately, much more productive and comfortable than the alternative. It does take practice, and you may not always be 100% assertive all the time—but the more you honor the rights of yourself and others, the easier it is to B-E-A-S-S-E-R-T-I-V-E, Be, Be Assertive!

Beverly Crowell is an experienced facilitator, speaker, thought leader, and author specializing in the areas of business operations, organization, employee and human resources development.

A Practical Guide for New Work-at-Homers

Posted on by Maya Mehta

Since 2007, I’ve been working from home. I’ve learned a great deal about what it takes to make working remotely work. If you’ve ever worked from home, you know it’s nothing like working in an office. To help you survive and maybe even thrive in this “new normal,” here are some of my most practical (and real) tips.

If you’ve ever worked from home, you know it’s nothing like working in an office.

  • If you have dogs, close your curtains or blinds before a conference call. If you don’t, you can guarantee that is the exact moment when something or someone will go by your window and launch a barking fit from your most precious canine.

  • Make a Do Not Disturb sign for your door. Post it when you need some privacy for a call or to actually get some work done. When that doesn’t work (and it won’t), create a new sign for your door that says, “Do not disturb and I really mean it!!!” It still may not work, but you’ve made your point.

  • Get a good chair with an armrest. The dining room chair or the folding chair from the closet will be fine for a few hours. Any longer and you’re asking for sore shoulders, backside, and legs. Don’t be afraid to spend more than a few dollars for a good chair if you are going to be spending more than a few hours on it. And be careful with adjustable chairs. Eventually, they lose their ‘adjustability.’ On one teleconference, my chair slowly started to lower while I was talking. Nothing like sinking out of the video frame when you’re trying to look smart.

  • Make sure your family knows when you are doing a video conference and hang the “Do not disturb and I really mean it” sign. Then, shut the door and remind them not to come in for any reason and then lock the door. I once did all of these things and forgot to lock the door. Moments later, my colleagues on the video conference said, “Beverly, it looks like there is a stick floating behind your head with a note attached.” There was. It was my husband asking if I wanted some lunch. Nice gesture, wrong time. Clearly, my sign did not work—but his did. I asked for a sandwich.

  • Be prepared to be on video at any time. And, if you are not willing to do so, take a sticky note right now to cover the camera on your computer. I’ve been caught more than once with no make-up and messy hair when dialing in to a call and not realizing I was going live. There’s nothing like seeing yourself looking down at a computer when you are not ready for it. I’m still traumatized.

  • Talk with your lawn guy about when not to mow the grass. For that matter, be sure to coordinate all work on or in the house around your work schedule. You can’t make a lawn mower quieter and it’s not professional to ask your colleagues to shout.

  • Remind your family and friends that, “Yes, I am working. I may be working from home, but I am working. Sorry, I can’t take you to the store. No, I can’t watch your kids.” People will ask. They don’t understand and some may even get irritated when you say no. For those folks, I’m happy to share my hourly rate.

Best advice? Have a sense of humor. Working from home is nothing like working in an office. There will be distractions. The good news is that many are doing it, so we can laugh together. And with that in mind, share your funniest working from home tip or story with me. I’d love to know I’m not alone!

Originally posted on LinkedIn.

 

Eating Breakfast in Delhi

Posted on by Maya Mehta

I’m having breakfast at the hotel in Delhi. It’s a buffet that comes with the price of the room. I order coffee and then go to the buffet. I read the offerings and walk the length of the table, not sure what most of these dishes are. It’s my first time in Delhi.

I begin to notice the number of westerners in the room—from the UK and USA, mostly. Almost all of them are at the omelette bar or getting the traditional western breakfast. I see several of them lift the covers on the other foods, only to quickly cover them. Indian dishes full of vegetables, soups, and spices don’t seem to appeal.

People seek out foods that are familiar . . . what makes them comfortable . . . what feels safe. I realize that this is not the first time I’ve seen this. It’s the same reason I hear tourists request “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” in restaurants in Vienna—the land of Mozart and Strauss. People want the familiar.

They want the comfort and safety of the familiar. After all, who ever heard of eating rice soup with tuna for breakfast? People want safety and security, and they don’t want to look foolish if they decide to select a local dish. So, it’s back to what’s familiar.

Back to my meal. I find a server and ask him to help me with some of the dishes. He happily explains what each dish is and what goes with what, and how you eat it. What’s spicy and what’s not. I make selections and return to my table. The Naan bread and chickpea gravy is very good. There is a tasty eggplant dish as well. I also like the rice soup (congee) with vegetables. I pass on the bacon and eggs.

As you might have guessed, I am not really writing about food. I’m writing about the tyranny of the familiar that plagues all of us. This is a human condition, a condition that lulls us into comfort.

Comfort is the enemy of thinking and creativity.

So, what do we do? How do we get out of this rut? It’s fun to say that we need to “think outside the box.” But it’s tough to actually do it. What we need to do is stop and think first.

I see this tyranny of the familiar in some participants in workshops (especially Flawless Consulting). Some people are reluctant to try new approaches and will find reasons not to try. They want what’s familiar!

To move out of that rut, start with a change in thinking.

To think first means that you start by suspending judgment. Suspended judgment is the foundation of all creative thinking. It helps you see things differently. It opens the door to new possibilities.

Next, remember you have a “server” to help you as I did in India. It’s your Designed Learning Trainer or Coach. She or he will help you try the “dishes” in a safe environment. They are your partners.

So, next time you’re having breakfast in India, don’t just walk by the Rawa Idli or Uttapam on your way to the omelette bar—think first about the possibilities. Then, try some.

I’d love to hear your stories. Drop me a note. Let me know how it’s going.

Charles L Fields was a highly acclaimed Senior Consultant at Designed Learning and a lover of life. He traveled the world by car, rail, plane, and ship, watched the sunrise on Croagh Patrick, and set on Victoria Peak, weathered a perfect storm in the Pacific, bartered for a darbuka in the Grand Bazaar, prayed at Lord Nelson’s Sarcophagus, ate lunch in the oldest restaurant in the world. His prolific and thought-provoking writing contributed to the design and re-design of many DL products, including Flawless Consulting, Empowerment, and Stewardship. Charlie shared his passion for this body of work in over 25 countries. His impact is a blessing.

Expressing Wants: A Basic Flawless Consulting Skill

Posted on by Maya Mehta

In the Flawless Consulting Skills workshops, we stress that you’ll want to change your conversations . . . the way you talk to your clients, your boss, and to each other. We see that new conversations will move you toward partnership. For example, in our initial conversation with our clients, our goal is to get an agreement on what we are going to do and how we are going to work together. We call this the Contracting Meeting. As consultants, we want to be clear about what we want to help the client be successful.

Expressing those wants often causes anxiety for the consultant. Consultants feel that to say, “I want . . .” is too direct, aggressive, potentially disrespectful, and may be harmful to building a partnership with the client. People often use national, regional, or corporate culture as a reason to not use these skills: “You can’t be that direct in this culture. Others won’t like it.”

This is more about our own anxiety (resistance) than the culture. It is a human issue. Being direct is uncomfortable for all of us. We are concerned that we will be misunderstood, be considered disrespectful, or anger the other person.

There are a variety of styles that people use to express expectations (wants), some more direct than others.

Here are some examples of how one might express a desire to interview the client’s direct reports . . .                                     

You could use… 

   Examples

Closed-ended questions

“Could I interview your direct reports?” (weak)

“Is it okay with you if I interview your direct reports?”  (weak—seeks permission)

Open-ended questions

“What’s the possibility of interviewing your direct reports?” (weak)

“What do you think about me interviewing your direct reports?” (weak)

Indirect Statements

“It would be helpful to talk to your direct reports.”  (may be confusing)

“Sometimes in projects like this, we try to interview the manager’s direct reports.” (may be confusing and get ignored)

Direct Statements

“I would like to interview your direct reports.”  (may get ignored)

“I need to interview your direct reports.”  (may sound aggressive)

“I want to interview your direct reports.”  (can negotiate)

Now, any of these might work and you’ll get what you want. I’ve used them all at one time or another. However, when I did, I often ended up with an agreement that needed to be clarified later.

The key is keeping our words direct, simple, specific, and descriptive AND our tones supportive, non-punishing, and non-judgmental. Stating a want with harsh or argumentative tone can be off-putting, while a weak or timid tine might get ignored.

When you try using these skills, start with people with whom you have a good relationship—don’t start with your toughest client! Also, listen to the language your clients use when they talk to you—you may find that they are direct with you. Partners speak the same language.

We believe that direct words and supportive tones are most effective in being clear and building partnerships. We also recognize that the style is your choice. Recognize that in choosing questions or indirect statements, you may be using a style that will not create the partnership you want.

I’d love to hear about your experiences in expressing your wants. Drop me a note. Let me know how it’s going.

Charles L Fields was a highly acclaimed Senior Consultant at Designed Learning and a lover of life. He traveled the world by car, rail, plane, and ship, watched the sunrise on Croagh Patrick, and set on Victoria Peak, weathered a perfect storm in the Pacific, bartered for a darbuka in the Grand Bazaar, prayed at Lord Nelson’s Sarcophagus, ate lunch in the oldest restaurant in the world. His prolific and thought-provoking writing contributed to the design and re-design of many DL products, including Flawless Consulting, Empowerment, and Stewardship. Charlie shared his passion for this body of work in over 25 countries. His impact is a blessing.

Get Back to Basics

Posted on by Maya Mehta

I find myself wondering how I can take my skills to the next level.  I have been an internal consultant for over 25 years. I continue to work at getting my expertise used and making a difference in my organization, my community, and the world.  As l look for experiences that will take me to the next level, I sometimes find myself seeking “Advanced” consulting skills.

What I have learned when I am struggling to use my skills and make a difference, is that I really need to go back to the basics.  World-class athletes have known for years that the key to top performance is going back to the basics. Golfers go back to their grip, stance, and set-up.  Baseball pitchers focus on their arm slot and grip on the ball. Quarterbacks work on their footwork and release point. Basketball players work on the five basics of dribbling, shooting, running, passing, and jumping. As consultants—internal and external—we need to go back to the basics of Flawless Consulting by asking ourselves these self-diagnostic questions:

1. What is the agreement I have with my clients?

2. Am I focused as much on the relationship as the technical part of the work?

3. Do I truly listen to my clients/partners and share back with them what I hear?

4. Do I give support to others by specifically sharing what I appreciate, and the impact it has on me and our work?

5. Do I ask for what I want, specifically, clearly, and with empathy?

6. Do I take time to get my own clear picture of the situation before sharing my recommendations or jumping into implementation?

7. Have I identified what my own contribution is to the exact thing I am complaining about?

We sometimes hear from participants in our Flawless Consulting Workshops that it is “too basic.”

When we explore this further, we find people think they are doing the basics of consulting, but in reality, they understand the basics but aren’t implementing the basics.

We can always advance our skills in the area of our technical expertise, but our consulting skills just need more practice with the basics.  When I coach individuals who are trying to get their expertise used, and they indicate they need more advanced skills, I discover several things:

  • They don’t put into words what they are experiencing.

  • They don’t listen and share with their clients what they hear.

  • They don’t ask for what they want.

  • They don’t recognize and manage resistance in themselves or their clients.

  • They don’t regularly share their appreciations (support) with others.

  • They quickly jump to implementation without taking the time to get a clear picture (discovery) of the situation.

  • They don’t provide feedback to others to get a collaborative decision to proceed to a solution that will be sustainable.

    Intellectually, Flawless Consulting is very basic.  It’s easy to understand and many people would say it is common sense.  Unfortunately, it isn’t common practice in many organizations. The hard part is implementing the basics.

    Here are the basic “Be’s”:

  • Be Authentic

  • Be Direct (Put into words what you are experiencing)

  • Be Compassionate (Empathetic)

  • Be a Model for the organization you want to create

    If you are struggling with getting your expertise used and you want to improve your business and personal relationships, get back to the basics!

 

Jeff Evans is a Vice President at Designed Learning and oversees delivery, product quality, and managing our team of international consultants. He’s been partnering with Designed Learning for over 25 years. He’s delivered training in more than ten countries to a diverse set of organizations and participants, including engineers, managers, manufacturing executives, healthcare professionals, human resources and IT.

Developing Flawless Clients

Posted on by Maya Mehta

Flawless Consulting is the popular workshop and book by Peter Block, which are designed to develop skills that increase an internal consultant’s ability to have a strong and positive impact on their client’s business results. Individuals in staff positions such as human resources, training, organizational development, information systems, finance, safety, purchasing, and engineering have all benefited from Flawless Consulting over the years.

Recently, I was delivering a workshop to one such group: Human Resources. Near the end of the second day and after much exploration of the Flawless Consulting process and skills, a participant asked, “I love all this content for myself as a consultant. It would be great if my client could hear it as well. Do you have a class for them . . . on how to be a flawless client?”

After some laughter and agreement in the room, we talked about this idea of the flawless client. Who are they? What do they do or not do that makes them flawless? How can we as consultants help?

In his book Flawless Consulting, Block asserts that a consultant is a person in a position to have some influence over an individual, group, or organization, but with no power to make changes or implement programs. Most people in staff or support roles are really consultants, even if they don’t call themselves one. And if we take that thinking further, many of our clients may find themselves in the consultant role, too.

Most professionals are working in cross-functional, cross-business groups and other work models that do not maintain strict vertical business units grouped by function and geography. So, a client today may be a consultant tomorrow.

 

If we agree that any client may also be a consultant, the answer to how we help them becomes a whole lot simpler. Here are some ideas.

  • While we don’t have a workshop called Flawless Clients, we do have Flawless Consulting. Anyone inside your organization who is in a position to influence without the power to make the changes would be an excellent candidate. Invite them to attend—and if they do, get together to talk about what they learned and how it can help your own relationship moving forward. Many leaders/clients have attended the workshop and found great value in the experience.

  • Remember, we learn from each other—directly or indirectly. By being a Flawless Consultant, you are inviting your clients to learn from you through what you say and what you do. Have a discussion about the consulting process—specifically, as part of your conversations to lay the groundwork for how you will work together, not just what work you will do. Encourage questions and be intentional in sharing what you are doing and why. Throughout the process, ask the question, “What did we learn from that?” Push the pause button to reflect before moving on to the next task or step.

  • In any consulting agreement, maximum client involvement will occur to the extent that you involve them. Our goal as Flawless Consultants is to be collaborative, where the engagement is a 50/50 partnership with our client to solve a given problem. When collaborative, the client must be actively involved in data gathering and analysis, setting goals and developing action plans, and finally, sharing responsibility for success or failure. When we are collaborative, problem-solving becomes a joint undertaking: the better the odds for success after the consultant has left and the more that is learned.

When we are being authentic with our clients and completing the business of consulting in each phase, we are being Flawless. Even so, it won’t always mean our clients become flawless too. According to Block, “Your job, as a consultant, is to present information as simply, directly, and assertively as possible, and to complete the tasks of each phase of the consultation. That’s all there is to do, and it’s within each of us to do that perfectly.” Do that perfectly, and perhaps your clients will follow.

Beverly Crowell is an experienced facilitator, speaker, thought leader, and author specializing in the areas of business operations, organization, employee and human resources development.

A “Flawless” Conversation with your Boss

Posted on by Maya Mehta

This is the most important ongoing conversation that you have in your organization. It sets the guidelines for how you and your boss will work together. It is the beginning of a partnership with your boss and a step toward empowerment for you.

Most of us believe that we are already having such conversations. I know I did. Yet when I dig deeper with people, I find that most conversations were as a benevolent parent (boss) to a compliant child (employee), not as partners.

First step: you will have to initiate this meeting. Do not wait for your boss. He or she has a lot going on so such a conversation isn’t on their radar. Prepare for the conversation by getting clear about the situation you are facing and what you want from your boss.

The contracting meeting from Flawless Consulting offers an excellent format with a couple of variations. Here are the key elements of the conversation.

Describe the situation. This is an opportunity to take ownership of your work, projects, etc., and describe how you want to complete the work. It is being proactive. Consider statements like:

  • Here’s what I see happening…

  • This is what I am working on…

  • Here’s what I’m planning to do…

  • These are the boundaries and constraints as I see them…

  • This is the priority I see for this work/project…

  • What information do you have that might change any of this?

Share your wants/offers. “The support, resources, understanding I want from you is… (be specific)”

Ask the boss for his/her wants/offers. “What do you want from me?”

Ask for concerns. “What concerns do you have about how I plan to proceed? What’s at risk for you, Boss?”

Summarize your conversation and offer to send an email outlining what you discussed.

I remember my first conversation like this with my boss. I was a nervous wreck anticipating all kinds of terrible endings, Once we got started, it became surprisingly pleasant… two adults talking as colleagues. Over the next few years, our relationship changed more to a partnership, then to a trusted advisor.

I learned to initiate these conversations in situations, like whenever I…

  • Had a new assignment

  • Planned something new

  • Attended training or development workshops

  • Learned about something that should be brought to the boss’ attention

  • Changed job assignments

In the Flawless Consulting Skills workshops, I began to ask participants to schedule a conversation with their bosses to discuss the workshop content and what they wanted to continue their learning.

So, here’s my encouragement to you. Schedule a conversation with your boss over the next five business days about something you’re working on, and go have a talk using the format above. It will take courage and it will change your relationship. Give it a try.

I’d love to hear your stories. Drop me a note. Let me know how it’s going.

Charles L Fields was a highly acclaimed Senior Consultant at Designed Learning and a lover of life. He traveled the world by car, rail, plane, and ship, watched the sunrise on Croagh Patrick, and set on Victoria Peak, weathered a perfect storm in the Pacific, bartered for a darbuka in the Grand Bazaar, prayed at Lord Nelson’s Sarcophagus, ate lunch in the oldest restaurant in the world. His prolific and thought-provoking writing contributed to the design and re-design of many DL products, including Flawless Consulting, Empowerment, and Stewardship. Charlie shared his passion for this body of work in over 25 countries. His impact is a blessing.

Collaborative Consulting: Three Degrees of Difficulty

Posted on by Maya Mehta

Consulting—especially collaborative consulting—requires artful presence and, consequently, is inherently difficult. It requires us to manage at three levels simultaneously: the consulting process, our relationship with the client, and ourselves.

In my view, Peter Block’s description of a practitioner-based process represents one of the great contributions of Flawless Consulting. Collaborative consulting requires paying attention to the process while simultaneously being willing to improvise within it. This represents the first degree of difficulty.

W. Edwards Deming, in his quality control work (and I think he is not fully appreciated as an OD practitioner), discusses “natural” vs “special” variation. Collaborative consulting has a lot of natural variation resulting from organizational complexity and the uncertainty of human behavior. The problem with behavioral “science” is that the standard deviations are significant. Little we do is 100% predictable, yet there is an underlying process we as consultants are responsible for knowing and following.

Can I use the contracting conversation to open the doors to discovery and the meeting for decision? Can I renegotiate my wants when the scope and scale of the work changes? Can I confront the client with how his behavior affects the situation we are discussing? Can I identify the real client?

Each client is unique. Do I have the interpersonal flexibility to adapt to and connect with my clients? Can I interact with compassion and authenticity? So, managing the client relationship in a way that engenders trust and openness represents the second degree of difficulty.

Personally, I apply Carl Jung’s principles (and teach them) as part of my consulting and coaching practice. My personal favorite is Insights Discovery—but the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, DiSC, and others all rest on the same foundation. What clues to the client rest in the physical appearance of her/his office? Is it neatly arranged and orderly with a lot of manuals? I’m probably going to need to be precise and detail oriented in my approach. Is it more casual with toys and a playful feel? I probably need to dial up my extroverted-feeling energy. In adapting, I have to remind myself that introversion/extroversion, thinking/feeling, sensing/intuition are preferences I’ve developed and not hard-wired characteristics.

 If I want to connect (and we teach the principle of connection before content in our work), I will be more successful if I can move closer to the client’s preferences.

Managing myself in the face of client behavior, emotional resistance, lack of responsiveness, indecisiveness, and intellectual challenges represents the third degree of difficulty. For me personally, attitude toward authority is something I must continually monitor. There is a part of me that wants to find those who have power wrong simply because they have power. There is a part of me that wants to be viewed as capable. There is a part of me that wants to be seen as helpful. When I indulge any of these wants uncritically and without awareness, I can get in trouble as a consultant. If I am sitting in judgment, true connection will be unlikely. If I want to be seen as knowledgeable, I can get into expert mode. If I am intimidated by the client’s power, I might withhold valuable feedback or lapse into a pair of hands work because it feels safer.

How we handle these personal issues materially affects how we do our work. Let me conclude with a reference to Shakespeare. There are clients who want to seduce us into offering “expert” advice that supports their view of the world. This is captured in Julius Caesar in Act 2, Scene 1, when Metellus says:

“Oh, let us have him, for his silver hairs
Will purchase us a good opinion,
And buy men’s voices to commend our deeds
It shall be said his judgement ruled our hands.
Our youths and wildness shall no whit appear,
But all be buried in his gravity.”

My translation: the change agents (Metellus, Brutus, and their confederates) recruit an “expert consultant” (gray-haired Cicero) to cover for their insecurity and sell their change strategy (assassinate Caesar).

Jeff has been affiliated with Designed Learning for more than 20 years.

Having held leadership positions in marketing, sales, organizational development, and HR, Jeff brings years of large-system experience in internal consulting to his work with Designed Learning. Jeff believes that when the human spirit thrives, organizations thrive as well.

Empowered?

Posted on by Maya Mehta

Empowerment is a confusing word. It’s also known as being authentic, taking ownership, choosing accountability, partnership, or being collaborative. It is the source of many questions like: “What is it all about? How do I become empowered? How do I empower my employees? How do I hold them accountable?”

Empowerment is about a mindset, an approach to how we work with and relate to others. It is a mindset that I choose—a mindset that believes, “I am the result of choices I make and I am accountable for the outcomes.”

(An example) During a Flawless Consulting Skills workshop, I met Kelly, who was unhappy in her job. When I asked her why she stayed, she said, “I have to stay, I don’t have a choice.” Curious, I asked why and she told me that members of her family had health issues that were covered by the organization’s insurance. If she left, she’d lose that.

What I heard was that the consequences of a choice to leave were unbearable. Yet she still had a choice. The choice was how to show up at work every day—thankful for a job that helped her family, or blaming others and the organization for a miserable life.

She was not empowered! Her mindset had been to blame her circumstance on others and take no accountability for her choice to stay. I saw Kelly again a few weeks later and noticed a significant change. She had chosen to be grateful and told me it had changed her life.

So, the first step towards empowerment is to change your mindset to move toward choice and ownership.

(Another example) Terry, a manager, wanted to empower her employees. Her mindset was that, as the boss, she had to control the work by setting the directions, laying out the plan, monitoring work, and holding the employee accountable for the results.

When Terry assigned a project to Bill, her conversations went: “Here’s what I want you to do and this is how you should do it. You will be accountable for the results. Any questions?” Of course, Bill’s response was, “No questions.” He kept quiet and complied with Terry’s plans, because it felt too risky to speak out.

In this conversation, Terry owned the project, not Bill. Bill was not empowered! Bill had limited ownership in the project. Such conversations keep the status quo and do not help create a culture of empowerment. So, moving towards empowerment means changing your conversations.

Here’s a reality… either Terry or Bill can change the conversation. For Terry, it means being less directive and asking more questions. By asking Bill how he wants to handle the project, Terry offers him more choice and ownership.

For Bill, it means having the courage to express, with compassion, how he wants to handle the project and what he wants from Terry to be successful. When he chooses to express his wants, he becomes accountable for the project and moves toward being empowered.

Flawless Consulting Skills workshops help participants see the choices they make about how they approach consulting and the impact of those choices. Peter Block calls this “confronting them with their choices.” This helps them realize what their mindset is and consider changing it.

Flawless Consulting Skills workshops also provide time and coaching for participants to practice new conversations that encourage expressing wants and dealing with resistance. Practice is the key! Practice in a friendly environment builds courage to use the skills in real life.

An empowerment mindset can be a life/career changer. I’d love to hear your thoughts and questions. Drop me a note. Let me know what you think.

Charles L Fields was a highly acclaimed Senior Consultant at Designed Learning and a lover of life. He traveled the world by car, rail, plane, and ship, watched the sunrise on Croagh Patrick, and set on Victoria Peak, weathered a perfect storm in the Pacific, bartered for a darbuka in the Grand Bazaar, prayed at Lord Nelson’s Sarcophagus, ate lunch in the oldest restaurant in the world. His prolific and thought-provoking writing contributed to the design and re-design of many DL products, including Flawless Consulting, Empowerment, and Stewardship. Charlie shared his passion for this body of work in over 25 countries. His impact is a blessing.